I have used Modafinil before occasionally, and it helped quite a bit, but the strong side effects forced me to save it for emergencies.

6 days ago first Elvanse. Within about 30 minutes of the first dose, many problems were gone completely! No mental effort to do what’s needed, be it laundry or a subtask at work. It feels like my brain is a little butler whom I can just order around without doing it myself. Many things just happen, e. g. I put garbage in the bin, carry dishes back to the kitchen as I go anyway, without thinking about it. Complete instant fix. Also a constant feeling like a hundred bucks, better than many recreational drugs.

Almost feeling bad when gaming at the end of the day, keeping it brief, doing extra work hours right before bed. The effect has somewhat worn off by then, but the no-effort-to-do-things is still there.

I always did feel better when checking things off my todo-list, even untreated, but now I get a lot more done, since there is no pain to just do it.

I can also work out until the body just physically gives in; there is no mental barrier to fight like “ONE MORE REP!!!”. It might have been a mistake to exploit that in the first few days, leading to exhaustion and more difficulty to judge the right dose / side effects. When I saw someone who was very buff, I used to think: He may not look like it, but he has fantastic discipline, focus and willpower. Now I wonder if some of these people are just normal, lol

This is a completely different life, and slightly better than Modafinil! I am a little worried about when the effect wears off and I need a break, but I’ve been there before: A lot can get done with just about 50 “super-days” per year.

What did not improve one bit is my forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. Just as stupid as before, e. g. packing a suitcase, putting things next to it to stash something else and then forgetting them. Leaving my phone in insane places. Barely able to use the self-checkout at a supermarket. It’s always an adventure, looking confused between the card screen and the items screen, often needing an employee, forgetting my card there and not realising before the next day etc. Problems with web UIs & pop-ups. That’s what my GP wanted checked out 1 1/2 years ago, but no appointments.

  • I'm back on my BS 🤪English
    13·
    29 days ago

    Immediate:

    • Focus on a task because I decided to do so
    • Stay focused much longer without becoming exhausted or frustrated
    • More respectful in conversations because I was able to stay focused on what they were saying. I also remembered what they said.
    • Hope that things could improve

    Long-term:

    • More confidence in myself
    • Reduced shame that I was rude, disrespectful, or careless about others. Paradoxically, this lead to me setting better boundaries when overwhelmed because I didn’t see them as rude.
    • Less reliance on notes
    • Less anxiety that I forgot something important
    • Less vulnerable to manipulation because I was able to see patterns better since I could remember interactions more, and I was more confident that what I remembered was right.
    • I was able to structure my days better. I developed a daily routine, eat healthier, and establish sleep schedule.
    • More awareness as to what were issues I was having because of ADHD
    • Felt more like a person than a problem

    What surprised me the most was that all of these are apart from work. I had no idea how much ADHD was affecting my overall life. When the psychiatrist said that treating it would be really impactful to my mood, I thought she was just trying to lift my spirits and get me hopeful. Nope. She knew exactly what she was talking about.

    Edit: Whoops. These all were things that improved. What didn’t improve was things that were related to other matters, such as anxiety in crowds, lack of trust in others, general sense of doom, etc., but I’m working on it! Being able to plan and follow through is fantastic. Ohhhhh, is this what executive functioning is??