I think everyone does. Mostly for me, they’re a bit cringe/embarrassing or I feel bad for hurting someone else. I’ve been told about self-forgiveness, but it doesn’t make sense to me. Like, what is that? I stand in front of the mirror and say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, meant for it to turn out like that, or I let my emotions make a bad decision. Thanks, I forgive you. You’re welcome, and thank you too. You’re welcome.”
If I’m embarrassed, the best thing that works for me is to imagine me seeing someone else doing what I did. Then, I usually just laugh because I find it funny when people do silly things. I wish more people would be silly. I think everyone’s too serious.
If I hurt someone, there’s a process:
Acknowledge it and ask them how they were affected. (Shows you are aware that you are responsible)
Tell them their feelings make sense. (Let’s them know that you understand them)
Explain why you did it. (They want to know why you hurt them because they are confused by it since they didn’t expect it)
Then say, “I’m sorry.” (Says you regret what you did)
Explain what you will do to prevent that from happening again and ask if there is something you can do to make up for it. If they say no, then if something comes up in the near future that is relevant and would seemingly make up for it, take the opportunity to offer it anyway. (Helps them feel safe and that you will rebuild the damage)
Example:
Yep, I ate the Crunch chocolate bar you left in the work fridge, and you were disappointed when you went to grab it as a snack.
How did it affect you?..It makes sense you were upset the entire afternoon if you skipped lunch to eat the Crunch as a snack. I would be upset and confused, especially since you never take anyone else’s snacks.
The reason I did it was because since I had seen it in there for a week, I thought it was left behind and no one wanted it. I didn’t think anyone was going to eat it.
I’m sorry I ate your Crunch.
From here on, if I want to take anything from the fridge that isn’t mine, I will always makes sure I ask everyone in the office first. How does that sound?
5a. I am on break at 11. I can go to 7-11 to get you one if you’d like?
5b. bring in 5 Crunch bars and place them on their lunch bag
I think everyone does. Mostly for me, they’re a bit cringe/embarrassing or I feel bad for hurting someone else. I’ve been told about self-forgiveness, but it doesn’t make sense to me. Like, what is that? I stand in front of the mirror and say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, meant for it to turn out like that, or I let my emotions make a bad decision. Thanks, I forgive you. You’re welcome, and thank you too. You’re welcome.”
If I’m embarrassed, the best thing that works for me is to imagine me seeing someone else doing what I did. Then, I usually just laugh because I find it funny when people do silly things. I wish more people would be silly. I think everyone’s too serious.
If I hurt someone, there’s a process:
Example:
5a. I am on break at 11. I can go to 7-11 to get you one if you’d like?
5b. bring in 5 Crunch bars and place them on their lunch bag
Thank you.
You’re welcome 😊