Image: 4 panels of Gru (middle-age man from Despicable Me movie) presenting a plan on a canvas.
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1: learn from your history of getting taken advantage of
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2: start setting boundaries with people
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3: “why are you so mean and angry now?”
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4: man looks at canvas with a concerned expression “why are you so mean and angry now?”
“Because people keep fucking me.”
Your energy is valuable! Your time is valuable! You are valuable! A relationship, no matter if romantic or not, is mutual.
Remember, when setting and enforcing boundaries, the calmer and quieter you are, the more effective it is. This is true no matter what neurological situation you’re in.
Employers HATE this one trick!
Setting boundaries for yourself and communicating them with other people are skills that you must practice to be effective at. Often when you get started, you might come off aggressively or with language or tone that is off-putting or offensive. Reflect on it and make adjustments as you grow. Also, some people are just jerks.
A parent of mine is struggling with this mindset currently. For your own mental health, it’s important to frame this type of interaction correctly.
There will always be people who feel entitled to your emotional or physical labor. The framing in the meme, while relatable, can lead to a frustration spiral. Bad faith responses to boundary setting should be expected and factored in up-front. The correct response is to stand by your decision without being drawn into a debate on it. Eventually the other party will either move on or give up.
You come first as they’re gaslighting you.
Pretty sure that’s a brand new sentence (or at least a brand new stage direction).