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Most people who vote with their wallets have long since stopped playing.

“Forced to deny he is not” == “Forced to admit he is”

This isn’t a LinkedIn lunatic. This is about as sane as one can behave on LinkedIn without deleting it.

“For reasons we can’t explain, we are losing her. We don’t know why. She has lost the will to live.”

— ChatGPT Medical Droid

Seriously, I went to Kohl’s yesterday and got two pairs of jeans, two shirts, and a pack of socks. The total was over $200 USD, and that includes sales.

I ended up returning the jeans and socks. If I were a fish I wouldn’t have legs anyway.

Turkey? Dude, his name’s Laserbeak.

You and your lizard are awesome. He looks like a little alien—I’m glad E.T. found home.

During COVID, I went a bit mad and got really into collecting Transformers action figures. I’m still not entirely sure why. One day I just bought one on a whim, and before I knew it my closet was full of unopened, mint condition toy robots.

Anyway, Christmas rolls around and I see a flyer for a local toy drive. A sudden compulsion hit me, so I loaded up my entire stash and donated the lot. Just like that, the spell was broken. Not even Soundwave was spared.

To this day, nobody in my life knows that I spent thousands of dollars on plastic crack, only to foist my addiction on some poor, unsuspecting kids. I like to imagine the War for Cybertron rages on in their hearts.

Luckily we have Fox News and random strangers on the internet who are willing to magnanimously inform us about the desolation of our own city.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go scavenge for hot dish in the smouldering ruins of Saint Paul.

Does the potion have a wait-list and cost $350 per draught?

🔥💼 Unlocking Success: 3 Key Strategies to Propel Your Career Forward! 💼🔥

Hey LinkedIn fam! 👋 Are you ready to take your career to the next level? 🚀 Today, I’m sharing three game-changing strategies that have been instrumental in my own journey to success:

1️⃣ Continuous Learning: In today’s fast-paced world, staying relevant is key. Make a commitment to lifelong learning by seeking out new skills, certifications, and knowledge. Whether it’s through online courses, workshops, or networking events, never stop investing in yourself!

2️⃣ Networking with Purpose: Building strong professional relationships is crucial for career growth. Be intentional about expanding your network by attending industry events, reaching out to mentors, and engaging with peers on platforms like LinkedIn. Remember, every connection is an opportunity!

3️⃣ Embracing Challenges: Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and tackle new challenges head-on. Growth often comes from overcoming obstacles and pushing your boundaries. Embrace every opportunity to learn and grow, even if it means taking risks along the way.

Remember, success is not a destination, but a journey. By adopting these strategies and staying true to your goals, you’ll be unstoppable in achieving your dreams! 💪💼 Let’s inspire each other to reach new heights! #CareerSuccess #ProfessionalDevelopment #InfluencerTips #UnlockYourPotential

Tbh, going outside to reconnect with nature sounds like a great idea for both kids and adults. Instead of investing in office nap pods and pizza parties, companies should start building jungle gyms and bring back recess.

Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!