I’d want a toilet that was not just a fan of human waste, but a connoisseur. We could have lively chats about what I’ve eaten lately, and the toilet can provide dietary recommendations and real-time waste monitoring for potential issues.
“Sir, you have really been overdoing it with the greasy food lately. I have to recommend that you add more fruits and vegetables to your regime, and I would politely request asparagus at least once a week. I’m also concerned about your cholesterol…”
He was a more perverted creature in my mind but I like this too
So you want the toilet from Benchwarmers?
I don’t want to be judged by the only friend I have.
add more fruits and vegetables to your regime
Instructions unclear, on my way to overthrow central and south american governments
Anyway, I’d go with the craves toilet. I don’t want to be hated by a sentient shitter.
I want a sentient toilet now.
Came here to post this :)
Sounds like a good way to get in a fight with the toilet.
Crave obviously. The latter would be sadistic.
But the thought of a perverted toilet is also disturbing
I just can’t bend it that way in my mind. It’s in my toilet’s nature to swallow my shit, and I need it as much as it needs me. I’ll forgive it the occasional unsolicited comment.
What if it has a tongue…
Well, if it has a tongue that means it probably developed alongside us evolutionarily - right?
Like this is no longer “your toilet is possessed by someone with a scat fetish”. Not if it has a tongue, that means this is a biological creature that lives off of our shit. Considering the value feces has in regards to replenishing nutrients in soil, we should probably consider these toilets some kind of parisitic - or more accurately symbiotic being. Sort of like a mimic, only it eats your shit.
Why did I think of this? Why would I take the time to use my precious fucking neurons conjuring up the beginnings of “shit eating mimic” taxonomy? Well, you asked “What if it has a tongue…”. The answer is that you would probably be used to it, and it would probably lick your asshole.
You did this. I want you to know this is your fault.
😭😭
I wish it’s a mildly scratchy tongue. Get that itch I don’t want to scratch.
R34 when?
made in abyss…
Easy, crave it. Nice to feel desired.
Fyi this question originated from Allen Pan (from safety third podcast, and failed mythbuster)
