The thing is I can’t believe what people say, and I’m certainly disappointed in myself.

My ex constantly reminded me for the past decade someone fat, nerdy, and unattractive like me would never get someone like her. No matter what I didn’t, I really couldn’t have her and she ended cheating on me anyway.

It’s different with my job. I barely know what the fuck I’m doing. I can’t estimate the time it would take to do any task. I don’t understand almost any stories, and it takes me forever to implement shit. I get constantly showered in praise, but I can’t pass simple codility tests for a promotion.

School was the same: “oh he’s a smart kid” without elaborating why.

Yeah the only person saying that negative stuff to me is me. I’m the only one with the truth.

I’ve tasked an AI with monitoring the content in this community to see if it can determine what the actual rule is. So far, it has only ever responded with “INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER”.

thank you, fake anime person

I refuse

I feel disappointed in myself all the time, a product of a childhood with parents, teachers, ministers, officers that saw me wanting.

The thing is, they totally lied to me regarding what life and survival in society was all about. And they were half-assing it all this time. In fact the phoning-it-in is consistent from the average menial laborere to the President of the United States. They’re not even trying to do a good job.

So in my case, while I’m disappointed in myself out of an old habit, I am disappointed in my society more, for established valid reasons.

And whatever your vices are, whatever your character failings, you are valid too. Character doesn’t come out of a vacuum. You were made this way.

I am tired and only glanced at this so at first I just read “you a piece of shit” which ended up being very much not the intended message