• thesporkeffect@lemmy.world
    3·
    4 months ago

    I’d love to hear from people who were entirely convinced of their cisness and then later discovered they were trans:

    Were you actively repressing yourself or had you just not given it thought?

    Did you generally not like being your birth gender or did you just really find that you liked being your preferred gender?

    Thanks!

    • pooberbee (any)@lemmy.ml
      2·
      4 months ago

      I think I’m enby now, but I always just thought I was weird, and people certainly told me so a lot. To be fair, I’ve always been pretty contradictory and would seek to enjoy things that others disliked or couldn’t understand. A lot of unusual fashion and music.

      At some point as an adult and through a confluence of elements of my life, I opened the “gender is a social construct” box and I realized that in my mind I haven’t been passing as a man for a while, and I don’t really need to try. I can just be myself. Still a lot of unusual tastes, but they’re mine.

    • A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      4 months ago

      Repression. I never hated being my birth gender, but there was 100% a whole other half of me that I tried to hold back out of fear. That half of me was the half that knew what I wanted to wear and what I wanted my voice to sound like, all that stuff.

      The only thing I ever did for that half of me (until I was in my 20s) was grow my hair out, because that’s socially acceptable for men. I was envious of people like Jaden Smith for wearing skirts, and of the women around me, both for dressing how I couldn’t and for being able to dress like a boy and still be pretty.

      Tbh I haven’t gotten over that fear to this day.

    • subverted_per@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      4 months ago

      I was afraid. Still am. Basically I learned at a young age expressing my preferred gender would cause me harm, and that it would be terrible if anyone ever found out about it. I was aware that there was something I desperately wanted to feel but was terrified to face or understand it. So I constructed ways to access that feeling in a cheap and pornographic manner that barely satisfied the need. Fortunately I realized I can feel it any time I want by just telling myself, “I’m a girl.” or when people use feminine pronouns. It took me forty years to figure it out.

    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
      1·
      4 months ago

      I’m as cis as it gets and I’ve often thought about being a pretty girl not because I feel like I’m a girl but because I’m starved for positive affirmation and would love to actually experience that for once.