• beansbeansbeans@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I was head-over-heels in love with my best friend when I was in my late teens/early 20’s. We had a short-lived romance. Turned out he was quietly suffering through severe depression and killed himself; it destroyed me for a long time.

    However, I made a new best friend. We trauma bonded a bit, as he also went through a deep loss. We’ve been together for 10 years, 4 of them married. I love him to death. He’s my ride or die.

    There are so many things couples put blinders on, but it’s important to always communicate. I’ve learned that though it’s really hard to express some of your deepest insecurities and feelings, it’s better to discuss the things that you’re struggling with, because a good partner isn’t perfect, yet they will love you, listen to your problems, accept your faults, and help you work on building a life together. Some days you’ll carry the heavier load, other days your partner will.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that a happy marriage takes effort from both partners, and even the most perfect couple has work to do. It’s important to be open about what’s important to you, especially if that changes over time. Everyone hits bumps in the road.

    I can’t recommend therapy enough. For any reason. Life is worth living. It gets easier, and with the right support you can heal and grow.