I have been diagnosed with depression and ADD. I feel like a lot of their symptoms partially bleed over into autism. I am also incredibly anxious when it comes to social interactions.

I feel like I have a decent amount of behavioural symptoms like getting upset when plans change, not liking when things are moved from where I put them, some sensory things (ex. the sound of velcro tearing, gloves rubbing against the skin at the base of my fingers, I hate making sound when I walk in public, and so on), self-stimming, getting really invested in certain niche topics, and avoiding eye contact.

There are some parts where I don’t feel like I match at all. I would say I’m better than most people at reading people’s emotions. I am good with social cues and nonverbal communication. I just over think everything afterwards.

Getting help for my depression and ADD was a lot of work and I felt like I essentially had to coach them into giving it to me so I’m just not sure if it would be worth the effort. The only benefit I could see is a better sense of self-identity but I already have a major case of imposter syndrome when it comes to what I’ve been diagnosed with and I feel like that would be even worse with autism due to the stigma that surrounds it. People saying “You don’t have autism because we chitchat all the time at work” would feel like a real kick in the nuts. I have been able to force myself to mask or get over some of the issues I’ve mentioned above so far.

Sorry if any of this seems improper. I really don’t want to sound like someone who took a “What mental illness are you?” Buzzfeed-style quiz as a medical diagnosis or someone making unfair stereotypes.

  • Corroded@leminal.spaceOP
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    23 days ago

    Thanks for your response. If you don’t mind me asking what kind of negative reactions did you have regarding your diagnosis?

    Were they dismissive or said it must have been incorrect?

    I can’t really imagine people making jokes when they find out someone is autistic in the way they do when they find out someone isn’t straight

    • fairchild@sopuli.xyz
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      23 days ago

      I prefer to answer without giving too many details. In general, situations where things just clicked, I had some realizations about my life that were hard to accept. What this boils down to, which also was causing the difficult time after diagnosis, is understanding that I am the way I am and react different in situations than others would or how even I sometimes wish I would.

      Regarding your second question, I experienced both.

      I’m not sure I get your last point. Being on the spectrum or gay/queer isn’t something to make jokes about.