Holy shit dude right on the money! I never realized how obsessed with time and deadlines I was but your analysis makes perfect sense. There’s so many times I’ll get anxious trying to relax in the evening because I don’t want to enter that timeless state and be up super later. So I end up sitting there paralyzed trying to pick something fun to do but not too fun.
I’m gonna try not engaging with the anxiety and see how it goes. Instead of avoiding the anxiety feeling by distraction or whatever, take a walk and decompress.
Also the whole stimming thing. Never heard that term used. I chew my fingers and blast music all the time to soothe the anxiety. This is a whole new perspective on my music listening habits.
Absolutely eye opening post! Thanks for putting it so eloquently!
Could I get some sauce?