• 0 Posts
  • 151 Comments
Joined 8 months ago
cake
Cake day: March 18th, 2024

help-circle




  • I know this isn’t 100% on topic but I recommend you want this TED Talk by Esther Perel about infidelity. It might give you some different perspective about cheating and how to deal with it. Take a watch and see what she has to say. She is highly regarded and a very helpful.

    I do think you should go after having a conversation with your ex-wife and child about it. Talk with your child about what they hope they are getting out of it and set some expectations about you wanting to spend most of your time with them. Tell them you might be angry about the situation which has nothing to do with them. Do the same with your ex-wife and say you want to go but you might be angry at points. Say it out loud so everyone is aware before it happens.

    You can’t fully disconnected from these people since you have a kid with them without hurting your child. Its going to be tough and rough but this might be a good crash course into your new relationship with your ex-wife and her new husbands. You don’t have to like them but be friendly enough in front of your kid.

    Also free fancy trip. Count it has blood money for the infidelity if that helps you












  • It seems like you have a lack of appreciation both at work and at home. Asking for compliments from your wife would help this with your new transition. I would suggest you start with thanking her for taking these responsibilities beforehand and ask if you can get it back in return. Gratitude goes both ways and is infectious. Start with thanking her and see if she does it back if you are feeling like you can’t ask.

    See if you can get some appreciate at work by asking for it from your manager or anyone else. This is more difficult since people are pretty thankless in their jobs as well. Similar tactics of thanks others might get you thanks at work.

    Dealing with the lack of thanks and gratitude is a complicated emotion to deal with. You will need to talk about it with the people who matter in your life. Some thanklessness is part of any job as well as being a parent and partner. But you should be able to ask for it and be appreciate it. I know I need lot more appreciation from my personal life if I am not getting it from my job.



  • It really seems like your job is a huge part of this problem. She has exciting new role energy for her job which has coordinate with her old job giving her praise. You on the other hand seem to be in a job that you either hate or don’t like very much. You are jealous of what she has with her new role.

    I am going through the exact same thing with my job and my spouses job. She has an emotionally demanding helping profession job which is draining emotionally but she is great at it, loves her coworkers, has autonomy and does something useful for the world everyday. My job while much higher paying is a high stress and yet boring corporate job in which I get little praise and high complaints. I have been so jealous of her when she talks about work even when she is complaining. We have talked this through and I am going to find something better for myself but I understand the jealousy. I am both proud of what she does and jealous that it isn’t me. Relationships are complicated like that and you need to understand each portion of it.

    You seem frustrated about the additional emotional labor and reasonability you are getting from her new job. This is highlighting how much emotional labor you have to put with at your job which you can’t give to your home life and family. It is exhausting putting on fake and false face for your job. This need to hide everything at work and its getting you in the habit to hide at home. Look for a new job and talk with your wife about how her new job is bringing up these complicated feelings about your role. You got this but need to talk it out