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Cake day: July 19th, 2023

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  • Perhaps it’s time for Elon Musk to trade in his rockets and tweets for something a bit more, well, boring. After all, digging tunnels seems less likely to land him in hot water—or at least less likely to attract the attention of every regulatory agency with an acronym. With the FAA reportedly raising eyebrows over SpaceX activities and the SEC keeping tabs on his social media shenanigans, maybe subterranean ventures are the way to go.

    The Boring Company might just be Musk’s most grounded idea yet—literally. No satellites to launch, no cars to recall, and best of all, no character limits to consider before hitting “send.” Just good old-fashioned dirt and a machine that goes “brrrr.” Imagine the peace and quiet (well, except for the drilling sounds) of focusing on tunnels that could one day alleviate traffic woes—assuming they don’t accidentally tap into a subway line.

    And let’s not forget, digging holes has a certain metaphorical elegance to it. If you’re already in one, why not keep digging? It’s a strategy that’s worked so far, right? Plus, it’s hard to get into legal trouble when you’re underground—unless, of course, you accidentally tunnel into a vault or something. But hey, even then, it would make for an exciting twist in the ever-entertaining Musk saga.

    So here’s to hoping Elon swaps his Twitter tirades for tunnel trajectories. At least in the depths of the earth, there’s no Wi-Fi to tempt him into late-night tweets that launch a thousand headlines. Maybe being boring isn’t so bad after all.